Malcom Seah Plunges Into the Depths of Grief in ‘Swimming Lessons’

Malcom Seah’s “Swimming Lessons” takes a deeply emotional dive into grief and the complexities of family dynamics. In his debut novel, Seah doesn’t just tell a story — he offers an intimate portrait of loss, memory, and the mental toll of watching a loved one change. As he reflects on his own experiences with grief, Seah’s writing brings a raw authenticity to the page, without relying on grandiose gestures or sweeping narratives.

Speaking candidly about the creative process behind “Swimming Lessons,” Seah reveals how the journey of writing the novel became something of a personal reckoning. "I never actually wrote with a plan," Seah says. His protagonist, Michelle, developed almost organically, and the narrative evolved as the character’s voice took shape. “When I would just start a chapter or a sequence, I write one word, and then it just completely flows out,” he explains. This spontaneous process allowed him to examine emotions and memories that were both surprising and deeply personal, making Michelle’s story, with its moments of painful reflection, not just a fictional narrative, but an illustration of his own emotional terrain.

The novel is rooted in Seah’s own experiences with his mother’s battle for her health. “I was there in the hospital with her for four straight months,” he shares. “It formed the backbone of [my] writing, because I was there. I was physically there every single day. This was the only way that I could channel my grief, in a way. I think it really inspired [the story] to take on a whole new voice. It became something obsessive, like this was like the only thing I thought about at the point.”

For Seah, the experience of watching a loved one undergo a profound transformation sparked a flood of conflicting emotions: the desire for recovery mixed with the fear of what that recovery might mean. This tension between holding on and letting go is at the heart of “Swimming Lessons,” where characters grapple with the push and pull of life and death in ways that feel both broad and deeply intimate.

Seah’s portrayal of family, especially the bond between sisters, adds another layer of emotional depth to the narrative. Through Michelle, he captures a nuanced understanding of sibling relationships, tinged with the intricacies of loss, love, and unresolved tension. Seah himself notes the resonance of these themes, saying that while Michelle’s experience with grief comes from his own, writing them down opened up an even deeper connection with his past. “I ended up writing something that I never thought I would have experienced again, but it’s something buried so deep down.”

What makes Michelle's character stand out, however, isn’t the fact that she’s, well, herself, but rather the way her struggles with identity and familial expectations are made universal. Seah explains, “It sounds cruel, but Michelle is not special, you know? The things she goes through, the things that she thinks about, these are not things that other people don't, regardless of anything.”

This sentiment rings true across the entire narrative: the novel refuses to reduce Michelle — or any character — to a singular identity or struggle. Rather, it paints a picture of a person who is multifaceted, someone struggling to reconcile their own desires with what is expected of them by others, much like anyone else might. This theme of personal tension is, for Seah, a cornerstone of the novel’s emotional depth.

In “Swimming Lessons,” Seah goes beyond simply creating a sympathetic protagonist. He captures the essence of human complexity in Michelle’s character with both empathy and clarity. By not framing her queerness, for example, as the central challenge of her life, he allows readers to see her as fully formed, with all the contradictions and subtleties that come with being human. “I just wanted to tell a story about these two sisters,” Seah says. “It’s just a human story.”

While Michelle's story is grounded in the reality of her sister’s coma, Seah uses a subtle thread of the supernatural to tie together emotions that defy straightforward articulation. It adds a haunting layer to the narrative, one that Seah admits evolved significantly during the writing process. Early drafts of the novel featured a shadowy figure as a literal character, a choice Seah later found “distasteful.” 

“I looked at it, I deleted everything,” he says, recalling the moment he decided to strip the story back and rebuild it with a fresh perspective. Realizing that his initial concept didn’t align with the emotional truth of the novel, Seah took a bold step to approach the narrative with renewed clarity. The result was a more metaphorical approach, where the shadow became a manifestation of Michelle’s inner turmoil and unresolved grief.

Seah’s decision to integrate a supernatural aspect wasn’t just a creative choice — it was a necessity. “A lot of things you can't convey through the reality of certain things,” he explains. “You need that supernatural to maybe talk a little bit more about how characters really feel.” This abstract figure, while never fully explained, mirrors Michelle’s emotional state and deepens the sense of mourning that permeates the novel.

By weaving in this spectral presence, Seah captures the inescapable weight of loss — the way it lingers, shadows us, and forces us to confront what can never truly be left behind. It’s a testament to his ability to marry the ordinary with the extraordinary, creating a narrative that resonates deeply with readers on both a personal and universal level.

Seah’s work stands as a quiet but powerful excavation of the ways we deal with loss, identity, and the passage of time. “Swimming Lessons” is a testament to the author’s ability to channel deeply personal experiences into a narrative that feels both intimate and universally relatable. 

In the wake of “Swimming Lessons,” Seah’s personal and creative journeys have intertwined once again. Reflecting on a solo trip to Chongqing, China — a city with deep familial significance — Seah describes the experience as transformative. “It was like going to a whole different world. I promise you, I’ve never seen anything like it,” he says. While Seah is no stranger to travel, having backpacked across Europe and spent a month in Ho Chi Minh City, his time in Chongqing was uniquely eye-opening. “I saw people who looked like me, who spoke like me, but it was so different in so many ways, you know — their lifestyle, the things they eat, the stuff they talk about, accents are different.”

The trip also deepened Seah’s connection to his cultural roots, sparking a fascination with Chinese identity and traditions. “I never realized China had an identity that was so strong that [meant] so much to me,” he says. This rediscovery of heritage has already begun shaping his next creative endeavor. “Recently, I’ve started thinking of writing a second book,” he reveals. “I realized that what I wanted to tell now, at this point in my life, is so rooted in Chinese culture, tradition, religion, and mythology.”

“That is something that I’ve been divorced from because of the diaspora in Singapore. We take on a different identity. I never got to learn this side, but I’m so interested,” he explains. Though still in the early stages of development, the project promises to delve into the rich tapestry of Chinese mythology and tradition, blending it with Seah’s distinctive storytelling voice.

As Seah continues to explore his own identity and heritage through his work, readers can look forward to a narrative that is as deeply introspective as it is culturally resonant. With “Swimming Lessons” behind him and a new project on the horizon, Seah’s creative journey shows no signs of slowing down. “It will be [published], I promise you,” he says with a quiet but assured confidence — a promise that readers will undoubtedly hold him to.

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About the Author:

Malcom Seah is a Singapore-based writer who is currently pursuing a Bsc. in Economics. In the 2023 Epigram Books Fiction Prize, he attained a long-list finish. “Swimming Lessons” is his debut novel. He is also a struggling full-time dog-dad to a grumpy Chihuahua-Maltese and an enthusiastic Bichon. Malcom apologises for the diminutive author bio, courtesy of him only turning 23 in 2024. You can grow up with him on Instagram @malcomseah.