Age 1
“Ba-ba-ba-baaa-ba-ba…”
“No, bunny, say ma-ma-mmmma. Mama. Mama.”
Age 3
“When I’m big, I want to be an artist.”
“No, muffin, that’s not a job.”
Age 5
“When I grow up, I want to work at a check-out.”
“No, sweetie, that’s a job for dumb people.”
Age 7
“When I grow up, I want to be a mail carrier.”
“No, dear, you hate walking!”
Age 9
“When I grow up, I want to be a librarian.”
“No, honey, librarians have no personality.”
Age 11
“When I’m older, I want to be a nurse.”
“No, you couldn’t handle blood!”
Age 13
“When I’m older, I want to be a marine biologist.”
“But you’ve never even been to the ocean!”
Age 15
“When I’m older, I want to be a doctor.”
“But math and science aren’t your thing!”
Age 17
“When I go to college, I want to study art history.”
“But that’s such a waste of money!”
Age 19
“When I finish this year, I want to study abroad.”
“But that’s such a waste of time!”
Age 21
“When I finish college, I want to work for the—”
“But you need to go to grad school!”
Age 23
“Graduation is May 15 at 11 a.m.”
“But it’s too far to drive.”
Age 25
“I’m enjoying my independence.”
“But you need to settle down.”
Age 27
“I met someone—he’s brilliant.”
“But your cousin said he’s an atheist.”
Age 29
“We’re moving across the country.”
“But that’s so far from me!”
Age 31
“Your first grandchild.”
“Beautiful—maybe she’ll be the success I’d always hoped you’d be.”
Erika is a regular contributor for The Universal Asian. To learn more about her, check out her Contributor’s Page here.
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